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She Said:
We are a happily married professional couple who has been in the swinging lifestyle for 11 years. We enjoy the variety, friendships and good people that we meet in the lifestyle. My husband is a second generation swinger whose parents used to have swing parties in the back yard. In his words - “naked barbecues”. Our backgrounds could not have been more polarized. I grew up in the bible belt. Midwest country living at its finest. I could have never in a million years guessed that I would partake in this lifestyle - let alone enjoy it. I grew up not even knowing such a lifestyle existed.
My husband is older than I am and this is a second marriage for both of us. Mine by way of widowed, and his by way of divorce. He and his first wife enjoyed the swinging lifestyle together, unfortunately a great sex life doesn’t solve every problem. My first husband and I were not swingers. When Will and I started dating, I was aware of his past and I was not even going to consider swinging as something we could enjoy. It was all or nothing for me. Somewhere along the way, as he talked about it, I began to consider what it would be like.
My transition went from prude to nude as my husband likes to say when he tells the story to new swinger friends. He started by taking me to nude beaches and on vacations to couples only resorts. It was on one of these vacations we met a couple that was a great click with us. By the end of the vacation, I was ready to give it a try. We did, and the rest is swinging history.
For people who don’t understand how a couple can have sex with other couples, I try to explain it like this. For us, there is a difference between sex and love. I make love to my husband. I go home with my husband. I solve all of life’s big and little problems with my husband. When the chips are down my husband and I are a team. That’s love. That does not mean that I don’t find other men sexually attractive. That I can’t have great sex with someone I may or may not ever see again. That’s pheromones and chemistry. We are secure and we are a team. I have no insecurities about another woman “taking” him away from me. Love is love and sex is sex. Sex with the one you love is great. Sex with the one you lust - can also be great.
Each couple has to discuss what their boundaries are in this universe. Full swap? Soft swap? Same room only? As long as you are both on the same page - then swinging can be a great compliment to your relationship. My one word of caution is this. Swinging will not save a marriage that is in trouble. It is not the answer to save a drowning relationship. I have seen this with many couples and swinging works best with couples who have a strong foundation and are secure in their relationship.
Have a question and need the guys point of view?
Email: DrWill@swinging101.info
Have a question and need the girls point of view?
Email: DrCher@swinging101.info
Best Wishes, Dr. Cher
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